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Tori & Dean's sTORIbook Weddings Interviewby Pattye Grippo    

This is a transcript of an interview with Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott on March 24, 2011 about the show Tori & Dean's sTORIbook Weddings. Tori & Dean's sTORIbook Weddings premieres Wednesday April 6th at 10:00 pm Eastern/Pacific on Oxygen.

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott

Question:
How did the series came to be, who came up with the concept, and how did things come together?

Tori Spelling:
Kind of out our lifestyle because we love to throw parties and basically love any excuse to throw a party. We've thrown many for our children and a few friends had asked us to throw their wedding. Started getting into weddings and then in actuality I said to Dean I wanted to start a party planning business. I wanted to do this as a hobby and plan weddings for them. And then we partnered with Oxygen and decided to do it on TV for eight lucky couples.

Question:
How did you find the eight couples that this series profiles?

Tori Spelling:
Couples would send in videos and we collectively looked through hundreds of videos and that's where we chose our eight couples from.

Question:
Tori, what do you think is some of the key ingredients to a successful wedding?

Tori Spelling:
I'm all about the details. I'm a very detailed oriented person and personally I think details are the key to every wedding. Weddings I feel like sometimes can be beautiful but cookie cutter. So I want ours to look anything but that.

Question:
Were there any times when there were any different points of view between you and the brides and, if so, how did you resolve things?

Tori Spelling:
Well I go by the motto that the bride is always right. It's her wedding.

Dean McDermott:
But she's very influential.

Tori Spelling:
Well I love style and parties and bringing everything together and visually creating a visually pleasing wedding. So you know, I always listen to my brides and I'll take what their input is and kind of give them kind of the sheik version I think.

Question:
Where there any commonalities in things they were concerned about or anxious about as their wedding day approached among the eight couples?

Dean McDermott:
I think the groom I think you know, there is a lot of worry that goes on that you know, things will be delivered on time and you know, they'll get all the things that they want, the colors they want, the theme they want. I think that's just a given for any couple. The commonality with all the grooms was music and food. Those were their key concerns.

Question:
Were there any commonalities among the eight brides, things they would ask you or things they were concerned about?

Tori Spelling:
The thing that I found was that the brides were being influenced by family and friends a lot. And they all were trying to figure out how to have their dreams. So if that was a vision of what they wanted for their wedding but they didn't know quite how to manage their family and their bridesmaid's because everyone wanted what they wanted. So that was a very common thing that the families would really want to interfere into the wedding.

Question:
If this series is successful that you'd want to continue a second season of this series?

Tori Spelling:
Definitely. I had a great time is probably the hardest we've ever worked and you know, it's someone's big day you can only get one chance at it. Eevery wedding was on a budget even though they looked like these huge weddings we had a very tight budget. And a lot of stuff was very do it yourself and we would make everything to kind of save on the budget. We worked like 24 hours a day. But it was great, it was so fulfilling at the end of the day when you married the couples off to see how happy they are and there is nothing more rewarding.

Question:
Was there anything surprising or unexpected that you encountered in taking these brides on the journey to their wedding day?

Tori Spelling:
I didn't expect how attached I would get to them. You know, I kind of thought okay great, I'm going to be coming in doing their wedding and then moving on to another couple. But it didn't pan out that way. We would come in and we would spend so much time with them. And my big thing is I like to really spend time with them and get to know them so I can personalize things in their wedding that you know, they'd be like oh, I didn't even remember I told you that was my favorite thing and I would have it there at their wedding. Things like that. So that's important to me. So I would get really attached so I would get really involved in their lives and friends with all these couples. So at the end of the day it was hard kind of moving on from them to a new couple.

Question:
Between this series and your other reality series and your busy life how do you balance everything that you do and make it work?

Tori Spelling:
If you're doing all the things you love then you can make everything work. Because everything kind of falls into the same role. Everything we do involves stuff together stuff with families, stuff you know, if it's planning if it's decorating if it's you know, parties, weddings, books it's all about things that we love. So it all kind of plays into the same genre.

Dean McDermott:
That saying you know, if you need something done give it to a busy person. And that's how we kind of look at things.

Question:
Okay. Do either of you have any acting projects coming up that you want to talk about or dream projects that you'd like to be involved in?

Dean McDermott:
Yes, I did a movie for Christmas. It's sort of the sequel to Trainspotting it's about sort of personal goals and you know, the changing of drugs like you know, it was heroin and Trainspotting and this one is ecstasy. It's going to be in the Toronto Film Festival.

Question:
Tori, what is your favorite part of the wedding to design and to come up with the ideas for?

Tori Spelling:
All the details. I love the little details like figuring out creative ways to do the favors and the table numbers. And instead of doing a Wish Tree what else can I come up with that is something different. And the centerpieces, and just all the little things I love.

Question:
Dean, you're dealing with people on a very emotional time of their lives. How do you find it's easiest to cope with that?

Dean McDermott:
You know the easiest way to cope with that you know, there is a lot of stress and a lot of worry on these couples and it's just you know, just to handle everything very calmly. And just let them know that you're there for them 100% for anything whether it's wedding related, family related. You know, you just kind of - just be there for your bride and groom.

Question:
What do you think is the single most important thing in planning a wedding?

Dean McDermott:
Venues.

Tori Spelling:
The venue.

Dean McDermott:
I know most people complain about the food at weddings.

Tori Spelling:
An amazing venue is the basis of everything, like your home.

Question:
How challenging was it to be creative with pug chic as decor and actually make it work?

Tori Spelling:
That was one of my favorites just because I'm a huge pug lover. So when I saw that couple on video I was like we have got to do their wedding. And yet, at first when we meet with the couple you know, she wanted everything pug. She was like you know, she wanted it wall to wall pug. And his biggest concern was oh my gosh, this is going to be tacky this wedding because you know, if you have pugs everywhere it's just going to be a tacky wedding. So it was a little bit of a challenge, but I love a challenge. So I was totally up for it incorporating pug yet making it chic. And I think we pulled it off.

Dean McDermott:
I think you pulled it off by mistake.

Question:
What's it like for both of you to know that you're doing something special for a couple at such a pivotal time in their life?

Dean McDermott:
It's such a great feeling you know, it's the hardest we've ever worked and it's the most stress we've been under. But you know, when you see them - see the ceremony and then see them with their friends and family enjoying themselves at the receptions it's pretty amazing, it's all worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears.

Question:
How tough is it to take a wedding theme and make sure you're getting the love story aspect right so it actually feels right to the couple?

Tori Spelling:
Well we work hand and hand with the couple and we work with them basically 24 hours a day leading up to their wedding. So I mean of course we want their theme to play a big part of it. But we really personalized the couple and you know, really geared the wedding towards their love story. And you know, we sit with them and ask them questions like,tell me about your first date, what was it like when you know, you first loved them the other person. When did you say I love you, what was your engagement like? So we take notes about all of that and try to incorporate their love story into the theme of their wedding.

Question:
What is it like working together as husband and wife for these projects?

Dean McDermott:
It's awesome. I mean you know, a lot of people say how can you do it, how can you you know, work so close with your spouse I mean you're together all the time. And you know, we wouldn't have it any other way. We don't function well apart.

Tori Spelling:
We don't know any difference because we've been working together since we met. So it's what we know. And especially I mean this is really different than working on other projects together because the greatest thing about this is, literally at the end of every wedding it's like we get to celebrate our love story all over again. Because everyone loves the wedding you can't not get emotional and reminisce about your own wedding when you're at another wedding. And especially there is so many emotions that go into planning someone else's wedding. That I think you know, each wedding we're just like oh we take something away that we learned from the bride and groom and it's kind of like we have our little like love story all over again.

Question:
Do you bring the stress or these emotions home with you?

Tori Spelling:
Not really. I mean we're pretty stressed before but not with each other. It's just like go, go, go time. The kids help out that's the good thing, we put the kids to work. Stella loves stuffing favor bags. So it's kind of a family project even when it's stressful.

Question:
Dean, what were some of the twists and turns you have to navigate for the show? And do you have to do this in your relationship with Tori too?

Dean McDermott:
It was learning about flowers and color palettes and what goes with what, because I am a guy. So I like to sort of construct and set up of the stuff. I don't quite know all the little tiny details like tableware and flatware and flower - what is it?

Tori Spelling:
Arrangements.

Dean McDermott:
Arrangements - flower arrangements.

Question:
What kind of family issues came up in planning the weddings?

Dean McDermott:
Families are always involved in weddings unfortunately.

Tori Spelling:
Yes. We found quite a few of the families didn't really know each other which was kind of surprising I guess. Yes, one couple she hadn't met his family and wouldn't meet them until the wedding day. So there were issues there that we had to navigate. And then you know, we did find that a lot of you know, families had too many opinions. And they weren't the ones the bride wanted to use but they felt weird because it was their parent's opinions so we had to navigate that. So yes, family played a big part of every wedding I think.

Question:
Now that you've planned eight weddings does it make you want to renew your vows? And what would you do differently this time?

Dean McDermott:
We renewed our vows last year. And I would love to renew our vows every anniversary in different ways. But yes every time at the end of a wedding we realize how much in love we are. And yes, renew our vows again, and again, and again.

Tori Spelling:
Totally.

Question:
So you mentioned one theme, is there another theme you're excited about?

Tori Spelling:
My favorite is we did a Marie Antoinette Wedding. It's been a huge dream of mine to do like a big Marie Antoinette party and ball. So I was really excited when this couple, they are very into fashion, she is in the fashion world and he is a hairstylist. So they were really into kind of the glam and the art of it all. And I was really excited to do that wedding.

Dean McDermott:
My favorite was a steampunk wedding. I'm really excited about it because you know, there is a new movement in steampunk and it's really coming to the forefront. And it just did such an interesting fashion and design you know, incandescent lighting, Victorian meets industrial revolution. And we did that at the Edison and we had you know, aerial acrobatics in steampunk gear, it was really cool.

Question:
Elizabeth Taylor just passed away I was wondering if either of you have any comments?

Tori Spelling:
I was pretty devastated and I'm sure everyone is. She was a huge icon I think to everybody. And it's heartbreaking I guess we all knew that she was ill and that it would happen soon. I feel like it's hard when you grow up watching someone and you know, she was obviously a different generation than me. My mom loved her. And then it was my generation I got to watch all of her old movies and catch up with her and become a huge fan. And then now that she passed away it's like a huge icon has gone that like my daughter won't know about. So it's sad.

Question:
What did you learn from your own wedding that you could bring to this show?

Tori Spelling:
I think the big thing that we learned was that make the day about you because it goes in a flash. And we don't take a moment to really enjoy it and experience it with your partner. It kind of gets taken over by everyone else at the wedding. I always remind my brides because it was something that was really important to me when I got married. I would remind them right before they walked down the aisle I'd say when you get out there, take in everything. Stop for one second like see your groom, take in the whole scene and just make a mental picture of it and then head down the aisle. Because before you know it you'll be at the reception. Before you know, it you'll be on your honeymoon and it's over. And just it's something you'll want to remember for the rest of your life.

Question:
Tori, Dean just said he would like to renew your vows every year. If you could plan another ceremony would you have a specific theme?

Tori Spelling:
Well we did the first one alone on a beach and we renewed our vows last year with all our friends and family because they never got to celebrate it with us. And we did very kind of more of a modernized party. So I don't know for our next one I don't know what I would do.

Tori Spelling:
Well the next time we do it I'd like us to be alone but with our family with our kids. And just that. Because we haven't done that type yet. I think would be the next one.

Question:
You mentioned earlier that Stella was helping with the party favors, are we going to see Liam and Stella on camera on this? Or now that they're getting older is it harder to get them to want to cooperate?

Dean McDermott:
They're in a little bit. They like to help out with the weddings.

Tori Spelling:
Well I mean what we film is the reality and the reality is that we're at our home like planning a wedding, getting everything done. They went with us everywhere because we don't like to go anywhere without them. So when we go to any hotel to do the wedding we would take the kids and they would be there to help us set up and then they would stay the night there with us. So they are in and out of the wedding show sporadically a little bit in every episode. And now Liam is addicted to hotels because he doesn't understand why we don't go to a hotel every weekend any more now that the wedding show is over.

Question:
Are we going to be seeing the Guncels or Patsy?

Tori Spelling:
No.

Dean McDermott:
No.

Tori Spelling:
No they're not in the wedding show. I know Ron's in one episode.

Question:
Tori were you impressed with Dean acclimating into wedding planning?

Tori Spelling:
Definitely. He's always really helpful when we throw parties for the kids and stuff. So I knew he'd be great at it. But he really stepped in and just took over. I mean every episode he builds something for one of the weddings. And he's so creative and handy and I was really impressed at all his work that he did. I mean he did some pretty impressive building in the episodes.

Dean McDermott:
Thanks babe.

Tori Spelling:
He did.

Question:
When you did Inn Love it looked like that was hard work. How do you compare the difference in the work?

Tori Spelling:
Oh my God that was a breeze compared to this.

Dean McDermott:
That was a breeze. Yes I think it's apples and oranges. I mean you're planning the best day of their life that they'll remember forever.

Tori Spelling:
Well when we had the inn or lives were hectic too. We had guests everyday. But I mean this is just different.

Dean McDermott:
Different kind of pressure.

Tori Spelling:
I mean the stress level when we had guest at the inn. You know, it was mellow and they were always there but at least you know, we could breathe a little bit. With the weddings it's like go, go, go, go, to get stuff done. And you know, because there is time schedule you know, that day is not going to change it's going to come up and you better be ready for it.

Question:
Right. So it's more like emotional labor and the inn was like physical labor?

Tori Spelling:
No this was physical labor.

Dean McDermott:
Very physical.

Tori Spelling:
Yes I mean we'd be like we had an Indian Wedding for 250 people and we were up decorating the ballroom until like 3 am. And then there ceremony was like 10 am because they have these traditions you have to do. So I mean physically it was a lot of work.

Question:
Does your respect level for wedding planners just shoot up?

Dean McDermott:
Yes. For me yes.

Tori Spelling:
Yes and no. Yes, definitely it is a hard job but I think the reasons are was a little bit different and why we had so much stress. Because I think we definitely personalized the weddings more than any other wedding planners do. I mean I think definitely. I mean I've seen some beautiful weddings done my wedding planners but these I mean they literally the details that went into these weddings were extraordinary. And although when you see the show you won't see all the details because you know, it's hard to catch every little detail on camera. So hopefully maybe they can use pictures on the Web site or something because some of those details were spectacular.

Question:
What are the first steps you guys take in planning the wedding?

Tori Spelling:
Definitely set your venue. I think finding the venue is the biggest stress. I think once couples have their venue they can start to visualize what their wedding will be like and what they really want. So I always encourage everyone to find their venue that they love first and get booked.

Dean McDermott:
And then make sure that you keep it in focus that it's for a day. So families like to get involved right from the engagement. So just remember it's you and your partner's day.

Question:
On the show site it says that you take one lucky couple wedding from ordinary to extraordinary. What's your definition of extraordinary?

Tori Spelling:
Everyone has a different definition of extraordinary. I think what that means to us is we take what they would have their wedding be and we kind of try to make all their dreams come true. We try to take it to the next level. We try to personalize it, make it everything they could ever want and didn't even know they want. Again it's not about spending you know, tons of money it's just about you know, really making the wedding their dream wedding.

Question:
Since Tori you have such a definite style and very distinctive and you have this whole aesthetic that even with the themes involved with each of the weddings were you ever worried that in some ways they were becoming more like Tori weddings than the couples'?

Tori Spelling:
No.

Dean McDermott:
Not at all.

Tori Spelling:
Not at all. Because I don't really think I have a certain look. I love everything that's why I was so excited when all these different couples had such a very different visuals and different themes. Because it's a challenge for me to kind of go out of my comfortable zone and do something completely different. And that's something I pride myself on, is I never want them to look cookie cutter, I never want someone to see my weddings and be like oh, Tori did that wedding, Tori did that wedding. You know, I want it to be so different that they are always surprised. And I really listened to my brides and what they wanted and kind of just enhanced that their vision.

Question:
Dean, was there ever a time where you needed to get a little bit more motivated?

Dean McDermott:
Not really. I mean certain things yes color palettes and flower arrangements I don't really quite know. But yes, I felt motivated to jump in on as much as I could. We had a very, very tight timeline and budget. So you know, we had to get it done. It's their most important day of their lives. So you know, you just jump in with both feet and...

Tori Spelling:
All hands on deck.

Question:
You had the inn, and then you had a clothing business and now this. Is this a business is it just a hobby?

Tori Spelling:
I like to call it a passion it's just something I'm extremely passionate about. And happened to find out I was good at. And we love doing everything together and Dean has so much to offer doing it. So it's something that we just decided we wanted to do. It's just kind of for the love of the party.

Dean McDermott:
I do think we're serial entrepreneurs. I mean we've got so many ideas and you know, we're always trying to flush them out and see how viable they are. And if they are we move forward with that.

Tori Spelling:
I feel like everyone has great ideas. It's just about kind of implementing them and making them happen. I feel like we do that you know, we think of things and we're like you know, this might not work but lets try it we give it our all.

Question:
Dean are you on the motorcycle anymore?

Dean McDermott:
Oh no I gave up the dirt biking and that's what caused that accident. But I ride around a little bit I do my charity rides and stuff like that.

Question:
But no racing?

Dean McDermott:
No racing.

Question:
Tori you happy about that?

Tori Spelling:
Yes ma'am.

Question:
Guess things are better in the house now right?

Tori Spelling:
Yes.

Question:
Is there going to be a weddings book coming out for people that can't actually be on your show?

Dean McDermott:
That is a really good idea.

Tori Spelling:
That is a good idea. I actually have my first party planning coming out in October that I'm really excited about. But if it does well I definitely want to do a wedding book as well.

Question:
I know you mentioned the Marie Antoinette Wedding, but what is the most unusual wedding request you've had so far?

Dean McDermott:
A camel and a flying carpet. Which we made happen.

Tori Spelling:
Yes, Dean built the bride a magic carpet because that's how she wanted to come into the reception.

Dean McDermott:
It's really cool, I'm very proud of that piece of work.

Question:
Dean, since you're doing all this handy work have you ever considered coming up out with a show like that. Showing people how to build things?

Dean McDermott:
Oh I would love that. You know, I learned all my handiness from my dad who is a carpenter and you know, I love building stuff it's just such a great sense of accomplishment and a great feeling when you finish something. But you know, I'm sort of like you know, an average guy and I know a little bit about everything and a master of nothing. So I would love to do a show like that where it's like hey let's figure this out together kind of thing.

Question:
What was your favorite part of your very own wedding?

Tori Spelling:
Oh doing it alone.

Dean McDermott:
That I got to marry the girl of my dreams.

Question:
Was there any particular part, like the wedding or the reception, or just all of it in general?

Tori Spelling:
We got married alone so I loved in our wedding what we did we did everything that people do at weddings. Whether you have you know, it was just the two of us or 100 person wedding. We you know, we had a rehearsal dinner with us.

Dean McDermott:
Invitations.

Tori Spelling:
Invitations with us. And you know, we did our first dance alone, we had - cut the cake and we threw the bouquet into the ocean. And so we did all the things you would do at a normal wedding we just did it alone. And we didn't have to talk to people all night long. You know at weddings you know, you hear people line up to tell you about their love story.

Dean McDermott:
Right.

Tori Spelling:
I would see lots of our brides during the wedding as I'd be walking around the room, I would see like Aunt Mary come up and be like, when I got married 40 years ago. And I'm like oh my God, really? Like this is not what you want to be hearing right now. She wants to enjoy her wedding night. So I do not regret that we did it alone.

Question:
If you were to do it over again is there any detail that you would change?

Tori Spelling:
No.

Dean McDermott:
It was perfect.

Tori Spelling:
It was perfect except our cake.

Dean McDermott:
Yes we wanted a butter cream frosting on our cake.

Tori Spelling:
We got married on an island, so it was very small kitchen there.

Dean McDermott:
And they used salted butter.

Tori Spelling:
So it was really salty.

Dean McDermott:
It was really salty.

Question:
What would you say makes your marriage work? Do you think that do you do sweet things for each other, set aside time just for each other without the kids anything like that?

Dean McDermott:
All of the above. You know, I take you know, any moment in time I can get with T and just tell her how much I love her everyday.

Tori Spelling:
But yes I mean communication is I know everyone that's a old thing communication. But it works the best and we just try to communicate about everything and just stay on the same page about everything. And just yes, spend time together.

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